Engagement and wedding preparations are occasions to celebrate your love and commitment. You feel over the moon and put all your efforts in making it perfect. However, although thrilling and significant, it is also stressful. This can be tough to comprehend, especially when so few people acknowledge how challenging it can be. It is anticipated that it will be the happiest period of your life. And when it is not, it may be perplexing, disheartening, and even a little embarrassing.
There are several very genuine reasons why joyful life experiences, such as wedding preparation, can cause stress. Nevertheless, it is feasible to discover methods to enjoy the process a bit more and to focus on what's most important: your love and forthcoming wedding.
The decision to spend one's life with another person is the most profound commitment of all. The other major commitment is the time most couples devote to wedding preparations. Regardless of the length of your engagement, preparing a wedding is a significant time and energy commitment. There are apparently many considerations to be made, including the location, the guest list, and THE dress. The fact that each action can be broken down into so many microdecisions is counterproductive. It's difficult to feel like you're genuinely making progress when it seems like you've just completed one task and the next one has been added. Additionally, it is easy to become caught in the tyranny of choice, which may leave even the most resolute individuals feeling confused and overwhelmed.
How to Deal With It
Accepting how much effort wedding preparation actually entails might be intimidating, but it's wise to do so. Create a thorough to-do list and timeline and be realistic about what must be completed and how much time it will take. Incorporating the tiny activities that are often overlooked but pile up over time can help you prevent surprises and delays (such as contacting vendors – anticipate some phone tag). Don't forget to be realistic about the actual amount of progress you've made!
Hiring a planner can reduce part of the load, but they are often pricey and rarely practical. It is therefore beneficial to choose a few major decisions (such as the flowers, cuisine, or photography) that you want to prioritize, not just in terms of your money but also in terms of the amount of time you're prepared to spend considering (or obsessing) about them. This will let you spend less time and energy on items that aren't as vital while ensuring that your wedding is still uniquely you.
Whether you're planning an opulent wedding, a small wedding, or an elopement, the expense of organizing a wedding adds a significant amount of stress. Once you've gotten over the first sticker shock and figured out how to pay for things practically, the tension isn't necessarily gone. Even with close friends, it's not unusual to feel awkward discussing money matters (like your partner). This is particularly true if you have differing opinions on how much you should spend or who should contribute. Additionally, family, the wedding business, and society might exert pressure to spend (or save) on a wedding.
How to Deal With It
Create a comprehensive budget, adhere to it, and avoid spending over your means. The tension is not worth it. Ensure that all wedding contributors are on the same page. Being forthright about your budget with vendors can help you identify individuals who appreciate your limitations. And remember that a wedding does not need to be extravagant to be beautiful and memorable!
Additionally, a minor alteration in viewpoint might make stress more tolerable. It is essential for a good marriage to be able to discuss finances, and not only during the wedding preparation phase. Finances are one of the leading causes of marital discord, and developing more constructive methods of discussing money will make life simpler to manage when it grows more difficult (and expensive).
Before being engaged, you likely had preconceived notions of what it would be like to plan your wedding and how you would feel about your partner and marriage in general. For some individuals, events play out exactly as anticipated. But when our expectations and reality don't align, we may overanalyze the situation and get unduly concerned (e.g., If you don't weep when you try on your dress, is it the correct one?). What does it say about you or your relationship if you don't enjoy organizing your wedding? Significant life events and changes, such as getting married, can also elicit unexpected and frightening feelings and ideas, such as dread of divorce or the notion that you will only have one intimate partner.
How to Deal With It
There is no one emotion associated with becoming engaged and arranging a wedding. Usually, we only hear about the good, such as enthusiasm, thankfulness, and love. People seldom discuss their dissatisfaction, uncertainty, or worry due to apprehension or fear of being judged. The difficulty is that this reinforces feelings of isolation and misunderstanding over their significance.
Marriage is a significant choice that should not be taken lightly. Frequently, the more frightening and anxiety-inducing ideas reflect the weight of this choice more than your genuine love for your spouse or willingness to be married. They're really an indication that you're giving this enormous step the space and care it requires! Instead of becoming consumed by your fears, approach them from a point of openness and nonjudgment. If you continue to feel overwhelmed or frightened, there are services available to assist you in navigating this process.
Probably not just because you have great expectations for your wedding day. Your loved ones may have their own opinions about who should be invited, where the ceremony should take place, how religious it should be, and what their part should be. When your ideals do not align exactly, family and friends can make the planning process more challenging, regardless of how excellent their intentions are. Worrying about disappointing someone (such as a friend who aspires to be a bridesmaid or relatives who expect to be invited) and coping with real or predicted disagreement may make wedding preparation less pleasurable and leave you feeling like you have little control over how the day unfolds.
How to Deal With It
Family and friend pressure typically originates from a positive place. Obviously, this does not make the tension any less genuine, and there will always be people who, in our opinion, make problems about themselves.
When it comes to how much we're prepared to sacrifice, we all have varying degrees of comfort. Agreeing to incorporate a cultural ritual or inviting cousins with whom you haven't talked in more than a decade might be a really significant gesture. However, it is equally essential to know that no matter how flexible you are, you can never please everyone. At some point, it may be necessary to set restrictions so that your wedding day feels truly like yours. And don't forget to realize when you are misinterpreting a situation or exaggerating its significance (e.g., perhaps that buddy won't be as disappointed after all). If you do give in to someone's desires, it might be helpful to consider what you're gaining (even if it's only less conflict to manage).
Endless decisions, financial strain, and deep emotions can eventually take their toll on your relationship. Feeling as though your spouse isn't contributing enough or doesn't realize how difficult the situation is for you can worsen an already stressful scenario. And so many engaged couples admit they miss the days before their engagement.
How to Deal With It
You may wish to keep everything to yourself because you fear provoking conflict or believe it would be dreadful to argue during your engagement. However, this typically leaves you feeling more alone and misunderstood. Instead, discuss your emotions, reveal what's truly bothering you and why, and let your spouse know if they can do anything special to assist. Respectful behavior and efficient communication will enable you to emerge from an argument feeling like a team. Ensure that you maintain a sense of normalcy throughout the planning process. Do the activities you normally like doing together and speak about stuff unrelated to the wedding.
Worries regarding the actual wedding day (e.g., that the day won't go as planned or that you'll feel uncomfortable being the focus of attention) can be the source of the most anxiety. If you have found other aspects of this procedure to be challenging, you may be particularly concerned that you will be anxious on an actual day.
How to Deal With It
Focus on activities that will help you relax and enjoy the day. Create a morning routine that will set the tone for the remainder of the day, such as listening to music, spending time with your closest friends, or taking a peaceful stroll.
Focus your focus throughout the day on the things you care about and are thrilled about (like those you prioritized on your to-do list). Make sure to steal a few moments of alone as a pair. If you begin to feel anxious, practice mindfulness by taking a few deep breaths and focusing on what you can see, hear, and feel (or even smell and taste). Take care of your fundamental necessities, such as eating, drinking, and using the restroom, regardless of how many layers you must uncover. And know that you have the backing of everyone.
Ultimately, you should not be overly concerned about things going wrong. Recognize that they will and that it is OK. Indeed, it is! You will not recall the minor things that did not go according to plan. And if you do, they will become a part of the tale you tell about that day. The tale of love, and tying a knot with the person you love the most. In the end, beautiful memories and images, as well as a healthy and happy marriage, are what you'll remember most. And the LOVE!
Maintaining your finances once you're married is important. You can manage your personal finances better by reading our blog.